I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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