fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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