How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
