Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
