so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
