i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
