My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
