So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
