I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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