I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
