): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize