this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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