Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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