"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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