I can feel you judging me through the phone.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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