Kiss
Puke
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
