i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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