Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
