It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
