he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
