So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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