After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
