A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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