look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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