My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
