butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize