A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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