how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He? As in you personified your dick?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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