Please, let me fuck your mom
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
