Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize