Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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