there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
