Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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