Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
