If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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