that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
this will be a night to untag.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
