Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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