I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
