Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
