Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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