Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
