We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
