weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
barbara walters just said penis...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
