Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
