Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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