definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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