Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
