so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
