We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
