how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
