For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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