my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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