erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The struggles of a small town man whore
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
