i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
