yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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