is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My ATM looks so different sober.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
