dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
