Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
