Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
