I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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