i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
