I just saw a hot homeless man
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize